Mommy Mode

KoKo is now 17 months and the new addition (Kal) is now 2 months.

My daughter still shows bouts of jealousy but not as badly as she did when I first brought Kal home. She is more patient when I am feeding him to get her needs met. But then other times she is jumping on me, wants me to read her a book at the exact moment when I start nursing.  Therefore I don’t exclusively nurse and I only nurse when my husband is home so he can keep KoKo occupied.

But KoKo can throw a temper tantrum like I have never seen. When she doesn’t get what she wants or I take her away from an activity she begins to scream, kick, hit, and bite. She hit me across the face so hard one day I forgot she was a toddler. I was ready to punch her back. Though I didn’t physically in my mind I knocked her out! And KoKo screams are those of an opera singer. They are so high they make my ears ring. And I am always so embarrassed when we are out in public and she throws one of her temper tantrums. It makes me feel like a bad mom. Like I don’t know how to control my own child. Is that normal, I mean to feel that way? How do I get over being embarrassed in public?

For instance my uncle died recently and Sunday I took KoKo with me to the funeral. She screamed so loudly and so often I spent the latter part of the funeral outside the church. I was so embarrassed but no one else seemed bothered by it. My cousin had her daughter there who is the same age as KoKo and she didn’t cut up like KoKo did. What am I doing wrong? In KoKo’s defense though she hadn’t had a nap and I know she was hungry but still.

Every mom I know tells me to just ignore her tantrums and the severity of them will pass. But I want to know when will they pass? And how should I handle them until then?

Being a parent of two children under the age of 2 is very hard. This situation was not of my choosing. Why do mothers choose this stress? I love my babies though and when they are quiet and sleeping I love them the best.


A new chapter has begun



My little man KW has made his entrance into the world.

This journey so far has been exhausting, frustrating, exhilarating, and joyous.
I am just now getting the hang of taking care of two children at once. The first week I cried everyday. When you wake up to two screaming babies
with no one around to help you, a mental breakdown is not far behind. My little man is a month old now and my little lady is 16 months. She is taking well to her little brother. She kisses him when he cries and she is always the first one at his side when he gets fussy.

But she still needs her attention and alone time with mommy. When I am nursing him she tries to sit in my lap or chooses that exact moment to decide she wants me to read her a book. I have been able to give her more time as my little man’s schedule is taking form. But there are still those moments when I can’t decide whom to feed first. The screaming one month old or the screaming 16 month old.

I am going to bed now because little man will wake up in about an hour for his night time feeding and then he is awake until five so I am going to try to rest but I will certainly be keeping you all up to date with my new adventures.




Talking timeline: When and how your child learns to speak | BabyCenter

Moms, is this timeline accurate? My daughter is 15 months and all she says is hey and the occasional dadada. Should I be concerned that she isn’t talking more? And now she has this thing that she moans and points when she wants something which drives me insane. I wish she would just say hey lady give me that banana.


From that first coo to the full play-by-play of their day at school, children’s language skills usually develop in an orderly fashion. Here’s an idea of what to expect when – but it’s perfectly normal for a child to hit these milestones a little early or a little late.

via Talking timeline: When and how your child learns to speak | BabyCenter.


How can I make space for my baby in the bedroom


The above video came to me at the perfect moment. Trying to transition KoKo out of my bed we are also trying to establish her own play area in the house. She has her toys everywhere. They are in the living room, in the kitchen, in the bathroom, in our bedroom, her bedroom…well, you get the point. She thinks the entire house is her play area and it is so hard trying to keep my house organized. The clutter is starting to drive me batty. I am having to retrain my daughter and I am not relishing the temper tantrums that I know surely will follow.


D-Day is approaching…quickly. Am I ready?

So my delivery date is 3 weeks away and I am going though all kinds of emotions. I just need to be raw with my feelings and vent today, so please bear with me

I am so ready for this baby to be born but not because I am excited but because I am tired of being pregnant. He kicks me way harder than my daughter did and he is causing me pain in my sides. Most importantly, I feel extremely ugly and fat. I am just ready to feel my normal self again. Just the other day I asked my husband to cut my hair. I recently had my stylist cut off all my hair because I was tired of trying to maintain it. I just found it extremely hard to style my hair in the morning when trying to get myself and KoKo dressed. I am blessed to have the kind of head that looks good with a low hair cut so I took the plunge and cut it all off. My stylist cut the sides and back low and left enough length at the top to wear my natural curls. Once I got my hair cut I felt so pretty and I haven’t felt pretty in months. So when I asked my husband to cut my hair, I was asking him to just trim the sides and the back but he cut out my curls too and I just started crying uncontrollably. I cried the entire time he cut my hair. Afterwards I took a shower and went to sleep. We didn’t say anything to each other. I didn’t know how to explain to him that he cut out my “pretty”. I guess he felt bad because the next day he told me I looked beautiful and he hadn’t complimented me in a while. That compliment did make me feel better.

On the other hand I am very excited about introducing this new little life into my world and family but I am not ready mentally or financially to take on two babies at once. Let me be brutally honest, my husband isn’t as helpful as I need or would like him to be. Sometimes I wish I had a sister wife who would anticipate and solve my needs.

I still feel guilty about having another baby so soon after KoKo who will be 15 months when he is born. I don’t know why I have this sense of guilt. I just feel like I am depriving her of all mommy’s attention when she is so use to getting it now. I am sure I am taking the arrival of a new baby far harder than she will.

I will be getting a tubal ligation because two kids is enough for me and because this will be my third major surgery in this area. I had a myomectomy because of my fibroids,  my daughter was born by C-Section and my son will be too. Although the doctor said I could have another C-Section it may or may not come with complications; I think one girl and one boy is golden. But I am still conflicted about this decision. I mean I am going to get it done but apart of me doesn’t want to.

So with the C-Section it is going to be hard to pick up KoKo to get her downstairs and I have yet to come up with a solution to this problem. My husband is no help at all, go figure. My parents stay an hour away and my mom wants to stay over and help but we don’t have a guest room in which she can sleep. So I am wondering how am I going to take care of KoKo, the new baby, cook, grocery shop and maintain my household when I am not suppose to go up and down the stairs or drive for six whole freaking weeks!


I am not coming back to this job that I am at now because the hours suck, the pay is lousy, management is beyond incompetent, and I haven’t had a raise in two years. So I am concerned about my financial future, which is constantly looming in the back on my mind.

I never envisioned myself with a husband or a child let alone two so close together. I am frightened, overwhelmed, stressed, excited, in love, and just plain thankful.


The 10 Most Practical Pieces of Parenting Advice No One Tells You | Fit Pregnancy

If you’re anything like me, you spent your pregnancy (and pre-pregnancy) poring over blogs and websites. You know that dropside cribs are out and that and that date nights with your husband are in. But here are 10 pieces of advice I bet you haven’t heard before:

via The 10 Most Practical Pieces of Parenting Advice No One Tells You | Fit Pregnancy.