Mommy Mode

KoKo is now 17 months and the new addition (Kal) is now 2 months.

My daughter still shows bouts of jealousy but not as badly as she did when I first brought Kal home. She is more patient when I am feeding him to get her needs met. But then other times she is jumping on me, wants me to read her a book at the exact moment when I start nursing. ¬†Therefore I don’t exclusively nurse and I only nurse when my husband is home so he can keep KoKo occupied.

But KoKo can throw a temper tantrum like I have never seen. When she doesn’t get what she wants or I take her away from an activity she begins to scream, kick, hit, and bite. She hit me across the face so hard one day I forgot she was a toddler. I was ready to punch her back. Though I didn’t physically in my mind I knocked her out! And KoKo screams are those of an opera singer. They are so high they make my ears ring. And I am always so embarrassed when we are out in public and she throws one of her temper tantrums. It makes me feel like a bad mom. Like I don’t know how to control my own child. Is that normal, I mean to feel that way? How do I get over being embarrassed in public?

For instance my uncle died recently and Sunday I took KoKo with me to the funeral. She screamed so loudly and so often I spent the latter part of the funeral outside the church. I was so embarrassed but no one else seemed bothered by it. My cousin had her daughter there who is the same age as KoKo and she didn’t cut up like KoKo did. What am I doing wrong? In KoKo’s defense though she hadn’t had a nap and I know she was hungry but still.

Every mom I know tells me to just ignore her tantrums and the severity of them will pass. But I want to know when will they pass? And how should I handle them until then?

Being a parent of two children under the age of 2 is very hard. This situation was not of my choosing. Why do mothers choose this stress? I love my babies though and when they are quiet and sleeping I love them the best.

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